An entrepreneur in a mastermind group I belong to was frustrated – and wrongly he blamed himself.
He started to wonder: “Is my pattern of starting and stopping projects subconscious self-sabotage?” Same for his tendency to be reading four or five books at once.
There were a flurry of responses from others affirming the tendency for entrepreneurs to self-sabotage.
But I wasn’t convinced. I spent the last 40 minutes at my local bagel shop pounding out the reply below.
Do you flit from task to task, project to project, never quite finishing what you start? Then make sure you read the rest of this.
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My Friend,
Self-sabotage is a rather heavy diagnosis. I would need more evidence before concluding that you’re sabotaging yourself.
The tendency to get distracted is part of the human condition. It affects everyone. I’d argue that the one who overcomes it and achieves focus is exceptional. Not that the person who gets distracted is somehow damaged.
Reading many books at once is a sign of curiosity and intelligence. I do that and find it has benefits because it helps you see threads that wind their way through different subjects. You can read a book on Lincoln and see how he applied an idea in a book on copywriting. It helps you internalize the idea better because you learn to see patterns, not just facts.
Starting and stopping projects is also not necessarily “self-sabotage.”
For years I started and stopped projects. Not because I was self-sabotaging, but because I did not see the big picture. I didn’t really understand what was involved in taking the project from beginning to middle to end. But I didn’t know what I didn’t know, so I’d hit a wall and try something else.
I was starting and stopping because I didn’t have real confidence that the project was the right project. Or because I didn’t really believe I would succeed. Not because I was self-sabotaging.
Most people waste their days away simply deciding what they should be doing. “What should I do today? Oh, I’ll do x.”
You start x and then think of y. “Oh, really I should be doing y.” You switch to y. And the pattern repeats until the day is gone, the week is gone, the year is gone…
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If you’re moving from one project to the next because you’re not fully confident that it’s the right project, or you lack the confidence that you can make it succeed, that’s just being human. That’s not self-sabotage.
Distraction is our default. It doesn’t equal sabotage. Our job is to grow and overcome this human tendency.
This is why it’s so important to get your business to where you can systematize 80-90% of it. The most valuable part of a system, is it tells you what your priorities are each day.
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I’m probably in the middle of 20 books – out of curiosity. But when my business priorities tell me clearly I need to learn and master x, I’lll read that book through. And, my guess is, so would you.
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We all go through phases of clarity and fog. Clarity and fog. When we’re clear, we can build. When we’re in the fog, we need to recognize it’s just fog. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with us. Reach out to someone who knows the terrain. They can take your hand and guide you through to the next clearing.
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Is there such a thing as self-sabotage? Sure. And I’m no psychiatrist. But for me to conclude someone is self-sabotaging, I’d need to see them actively engaged in self-destructive behavior. Not merely struggling with distraction and lack of clarity.
Dov Gordon
PS – If you’ve hit a plateau in your own business; if you’re flitting from project to project because you don’t have the clarity and confidence that it’s the right one, and if you’re actively looking for someone to help you break through – apply now for a free “Consistent Flow of Customers” strategy session.
I give away a handful of these each month. You qualify if:
- – You know you should be able to add at least $100,000 to your personal income in the coming year.
- – Doing so is your top priority. You’re at a place where it’s time to get the help you need and it’s just a question of finding the right person to help you.
If that’s you, then go here to apply:
http://dovgordon.net/freesession
Dov Gordon
